A couple posts down you may have read about my unfortunate situation with a family member. I just wanted to share with you the good news of the events that have transpired since I made that post! All of your comments were so thoughtful and encouraging! I just wanted you to know that a couple weekends ago on my birthday, against all believable odds, this person showed up at my apartment to give me a birthday card and gift certificate! I was seriously shocked but SO happy! It easily made my birthday a far better celebration! My sister was visiting from out of town and we'd stayed up talking the night before, including my husband. I had mentioned that if this person would even show me the smallest act of good faith or any proof that she was sorry I would welcome it with open arms! After a long talk, tears, a few laughs, and a lot of hugs we understood each other a lot better and I learned that it's more important to show those you love how you feel, rather than just tell them. Words aren't enough- especially when we all have insecurities to overcome. I know how much God wants us to love each other and help each other. This experience has helped me know that once we do all we can that it is possible for the Lord to help sort out the rest. So, the plan is we're starting fresh and are committed to having better communication and honesty in our friendship! Wish us luck! Thanks again for all your kind words of encouragement!
Life is good, isn't it?
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
We love visiting St. Jorge!!!
My sister and brother (Katherine & Daniel) graduated with their Associates from Dixie State College last weekend! I am so proud of them! They are both working towards their Bachelor's degree now; Katherine in English and Daniel in Criminal Justice.
We went to Washington's city celebration for Cotton Days. My sis-in-law Angela dances in a group that teaches Hula dancing and they were performing so we went and watched her dance. I was SOOO impressed, I got goosebumps! It was so beautiful to watch. I've never seen my sis-in-law Hula before and she is so graceful and beautiful! You can tell that she had authentic training back in Molokai. My nieces and Shae were shaking their hips the rest of the day, it was so cute! Haha!
We had fun at the fair, too! I had to add the second pic because of Klint and Shae's faces....classic! Hahaaa!
Sister's night out! We went to a grill/poolhall/club in Cedar by SUU called Toadz, I think? It was fun to get out with my sisters and shake a tailfeather! We had a blast!
Last but not least, I got to spend some time with my Mom! I am so grateful for my Mother for showing me how to laugh! I'm thankful she fostered in me a great love for art- in the forms of books and music. My mother has gone through a lot in her childhood and adult life but she continues to amaze me everyday because I see now, as a Mother myself, how many sacrifice she willingly endured to raise 7 kids. I love my Mom SOOOO much! Thanks Mom!
Thursday, April 29, 2010
"Splendor in the Grass"
Aww! I just have to say how much I LOVE this movie. Although it may be controversial even today, I still love the truth in it and Natalie Wood's performance. Natalie Wood is absolutely stunning and I was brought to tears on more than one occasion. I find myself understanding this movie more and more the older I get; the last time I watched this movie I was 19 or 20..? If you haven't seen it and you enjoy classic movies, check it out!
"...What though the radiance which was once so bright
Be now for ever taken from my sight,
Though nothing can bring back the hour
Of splendour in the grass, of glory in the flower;
We will grieve not, rather find
Strength in what remains behind;..."
-William Wordsworth
What are your favorite classic movies? I've been really into older movies lately and am running out of good ones. I'm a sucker for romance and drama!
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Sunshine, you rescue me once again!
So I'm going to be totally self-absorbed right now just to get it out of my system. So cliche, but here goes....you've been forewarned.
Have you ever been in a funk before? Like, a FUNKY funk where you kind of "check out" for a while? I knew I was in a signifigant funk when I was listening to Etta James everyday and turning down friend's invitations to a Girl's Night Out....and when I didn't want to do anything but watch movies or read books. Any of you who really know me, knows that I am social and positive most of the time. I knew something was off. I now know what it was but didn't want to admit it, because then I would be succumbing to "it."
I've come to realize how strongly I have valued other's opinions of me throughout my life. It's unhealthy, really. Most of all, those whom I've come to consider close family and friends. So after 8 years trying to earn the love and respect of someone close to me and my family told me that she thinks I'm a horrible mother and wife I was surprised. I was hurt. I like to think I'm a fairly confident person with good self-esteem...but I remembered visibly flinching when she told me I was an ungrateful and disrespectful bitch, as well....my heart sunk a little when she told me that the reason my kids get sick is because my house is so dirty there is mold growing on my dishes.
See, I had been under the impression that my hard work throughout the years had paid off and this person and I had built a solid relationship of genuine respect and love for one another. I was actually pretty crushed over it. I was suprised this person had such a strong influence over me. Where did all of the animosity come from? How did I miss it? I had glimpes of these feelings but passed them off as my insecurities getting the best of me. I had always given her the benefit of the doubt.
I found myself criticizing everything I did everyday thereafter.
Little by little, I felt I was slipping down into a hole of despair and shame. Four months have gone by since that conversation and I'm finally on the other side of it. I haven't spoken to this person since January and it's all been via e-mail; she has never answered my phone calls.
After a lot of soul-searching, conversations with my husband, and personal prayer I've come to the conclusion that I am, in fact, a good person. I am a good person because I truly try my best in my life. Maybe it's because I have too much pride or maybe because my parents gave me confidence from an early age but I want to meet my full potential someday. I try my best to continue learning how I can be a better person. More than anything, I have come to know I've become a decent person because I still love this person regardless of the damaging doubts she planted in my mind. I would and have forgiven her. She will likely never ask for forgiveness but I will go on living my life to the best of my ability.
My conclusion: so what if I don't win "Mother of the Year?" Or clean my apartment obsessively every day? So what if my weight is never where I want it? What if I'm not perfect? My children know I love them. My husband knows I value and love him. My family and friends know I love them. I am in good health. I like myself. I contribute to society on a daily basis. The weather has been miraculously beautiful and warm for the past 5 days! I feel as though God has smiled on me! I look at all of my daily blessings and how can I question my worth? Life is good! My kids are healthy and happy! I get to go to the temple on Friday! I've cleaned out my fish tank, too and so now my fish are happy, haha! Even though everything in my life isn't perfect, even though there will always be people who will criticize and devalue me throughout my life, I will continue to press forward and endure to the end...with a smile on my face!
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."
- Dr. Seuss
Have you ever been in a funk before? Like, a FUNKY funk where you kind of "check out" for a while? I knew I was in a signifigant funk when I was listening to Etta James everyday and turning down friend's invitations to a Girl's Night Out....and when I didn't want to do anything but watch movies or read books. Any of you who really know me, knows that I am social and positive most of the time. I knew something was off. I now know what it was but didn't want to admit it, because then I would be succumbing to "it."
I've come to realize how strongly I have valued other's opinions of me throughout my life. It's unhealthy, really. Most of all, those whom I've come to consider close family and friends. So after 8 years trying to earn the love and respect of someone close to me and my family told me that she thinks I'm a horrible mother and wife I was surprised. I was hurt. I like to think I'm a fairly confident person with good self-esteem...but I remembered visibly flinching when she told me I was an ungrateful and disrespectful bitch, as well....my heart sunk a little when she told me that the reason my kids get sick is because my house is so dirty there is mold growing on my dishes.
See, I had been under the impression that my hard work throughout the years had paid off and this person and I had built a solid relationship of genuine respect and love for one another. I was actually pretty crushed over it. I was suprised this person had such a strong influence over me. Where did all of the animosity come from? How did I miss it? I had glimpes of these feelings but passed them off as my insecurities getting the best of me. I had always given her the benefit of the doubt.
I found myself criticizing everything I did everyday thereafter.
Little by little, I felt I was slipping down into a hole of despair and shame. Four months have gone by since that conversation and I'm finally on the other side of it. I haven't spoken to this person since January and it's all been via e-mail; she has never answered my phone calls.
After a lot of soul-searching, conversations with my husband, and personal prayer I've come to the conclusion that I am, in fact, a good person. I am a good person because I truly try my best in my life. Maybe it's because I have too much pride or maybe because my parents gave me confidence from an early age but I want to meet my full potential someday. I try my best to continue learning how I can be a better person. More than anything, I have come to know I've become a decent person because I still love this person regardless of the damaging doubts she planted in my mind. I would and have forgiven her. She will likely never ask for forgiveness but I will go on living my life to the best of my ability.
My conclusion: so what if I don't win "Mother of the Year?" Or clean my apartment obsessively every day? So what if my weight is never where I want it? What if I'm not perfect? My children know I love them. My husband knows I value and love him. My family and friends know I love them. I am in good health. I like myself. I contribute to society on a daily basis. The weather has been miraculously beautiful and warm for the past 5 days! I feel as though God has smiled on me! I look at all of my daily blessings and how can I question my worth? Life is good! My kids are healthy and happy! I get to go to the temple on Friday! I've cleaned out my fish tank, too and so now my fish are happy, haha! Even though everything in my life isn't perfect, even though there will always be people who will criticize and devalue me throughout my life, I will continue to press forward and endure to the end...with a smile on my face!
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."
- Dr. Seuss
Saturday, March 27, 2010
"When you wish upon a star..."
We took a vaca to CA & Disneyland a few weekends ago and I have to say, I wish we would have had another week away! Haha! I wish they were still doing the "Disney Give a Day, Get a Day" program- that's how we saved over $100 on our tickets. We suprised the kids and didn't tell them where we were going until we were strolling up to the entrace @ Disneyland- their faces were so cute! They were so excited, we couldn't get on the rides fast enough! They behaved so well and we made some great family memories. It was so nice to make memories w/just the 4 of us and get away from everything and everyone. Here are some of our favorite pix!
Day 1 in CA: Newport Beach @ sunset
*Klint found a white seal out on the rocks! The kids (including us) were fascinated.
Day 2: Disneyland!
Day 3: Leaving CA :( ...Newport Beach in the A.M.
Day 1 in CA: Newport Beach @ sunset
*Klint found a white seal out on the rocks! The kids (including us) were fascinated.
Day 2: Disneyland!
Day 3: Leaving CA :( ...Newport Beach in the A.M.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
My Personal Manifesto....
-To be true to myself; to have no need for the approval or validation of other people.
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”– Ralph Waldo Emerson
-To let my kids constantly know how valued and loved they are.
-To not take things personally; what others say and do is a projection of their own reality.
-To constantly let the many good people in my life know how grateful I am for them.
-To serve others every day, be it small acts of kindness or big.
-To see mistakes as feedback, to adjust my aim, and to try again.
-To make my home a peaceful place where one can come in from out of the world.
-To make healthy lifestyle choices.
-To always remember and accomplish my goals throughout life.
-To make everyday an adventure.
-To remember the best things in life aren't "things."
-To look at everyone as someone's child, sibling, spouse, parent; a child of God.
-To laugh instead of cry.
-To remember that I cannot change the way I feel inside by changing the outside.
-To persevere.
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”– Ralph Waldo Emerson
-To let my kids constantly know how valued and loved they are.
-To not take things personally; what others say and do is a projection of their own reality.
-To constantly let the many good people in my life know how grateful I am for them.
-To serve others every day, be it small acts of kindness or big.
-To see mistakes as feedback, to adjust my aim, and to try again.
-To make my home a peaceful place where one can come in from out of the world.
-To make healthy lifestyle choices.
-To always remember and accomplish my goals throughout life.
-To make everyday an adventure.
-To remember the best things in life aren't "things."
-To look at everyone as someone's child, sibling, spouse, parent; a child of God.
-To laugh instead of cry.
-To remember that I cannot change the way I feel inside by changing the outside.
-To persevere.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Preschool is the best!
I am so proud of Jaakson! He has learned SOOO much from his preschool class he goes to MOn-Friday. Jaakson can now spell his first and last name, recognize all of his upper-case letters, most of his lower case letters , and he knows all of his numbers! His teacher, Mrs. Scholle, is such a patient and kind teacher. Here are some pictures of his class during Show & Tell last month. He had to take something educational so he took our camera! His classmates are so cute!
To play catch-up from December, here is a cute picture from Shae's birthday!(procrastinator extraoridinaire) Shae turned 2 and loves all things girly and having to do with babydolls.
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