I just have to say, I think it is extremely arrogant and entertaining when "people" think they have the right to place final judgement on my child's worth based on their behavior in any particular instance. Especially when my children aren't even children yet; they are babies and toddlers. Especially when these "people" are still children themselves and have never had children of their own. Heaven forbid at the age of 1 and 3, my children aren't perfect soilders. I refuse to beat or spank them into submission. I would never want to break my children's spirits. I do not want my kids to mistake intimidation for respect because I know they will follow that example later in their lives. I refuse to lose respect for myself. I will not have my children obey me out of fear or intimidation but would rather have them understand the natural consequences to their decisions. I use "currency" with my children (toys), not corporal punishment. It may take longer to get the results I want but the quality of the lesson will be worth it.
I am not saying that anyone who spanks is a bad person. I have spanked my son before. What I am saying is that I don't use it as a general band-aid for discipline. I do not like spanking because I don't feel good about myself when I do and I don't get the results I want. I also choose not to venture into physically violent territory for fear of quite possibly losing my mind or overstepping my boundaries as a trusted parent and guardian. I am honest enough with myself to admit that I never spanked out of "love." When I have spanked, I was upset and frustrated. I know those of you who have children understand what I am talking about. ;)
In closing, I have been a mother long enough to know that I do not know it all and maybe never will. I know that I still have much to learn. When I was young and unmarried, I admit I had some naive opinions. I have since struggled with feeling inept as a mother. I have struggled with letting exhaustion and indecision overwhelm me. I have struggled with worrying about how other "people" esteem me. I am happy to say that I have moved past those trials. I know that I am a good mother because I am doing the best I can. I know that my children will grow up to be responsible and sympathetic adults. I know that my children know I love them and will protect them.
And that's all that matters to me. :)
5 comments:
Kylene, you are a wonderful mother and an amazing person. Olivia LOVES to come your house to play. Christ's words ring true right now..."Let he that is perfect cast the first stone"...(or something like that) Until that person who is a "perfect parent" comes to you with advise...just keep doing what you are doing!! Your kids are beautiful and don't let anyone tell you different!
Hey, you are a super mom!!!
I admit - I am a spanker...but only when things get SO bad I don't know what else to do! For some reason, NJ gets that.
You need to just not let other people get into your head...you know you're doing the best you can, and that's enough! Especially since when I grow up I want to be like you :)
Kids are going to be kids. And anyone that forgets that can go eat rocks! Being a mom is hard - but it sounds to me like you are doing an awesome job!
I just love you...what a great mommy you are!
I must admit I am a little behind the blogging times..just check out how often I blog myself, its just easier to read other peoples than create my own!!
I just wanted you to know that I hope that your bad experience wasn't with the primary far be it for me to offer any advice about children since I don't have any yet..but from where I'm standing it looks like you and Klint don't need any help with what you got going on I think your kids are EXTREMELY cute and it makes me so happy when I see Jackson in Primary. It was so fun to get such a large nursery group heading into primary they truly have infused primary with a whole new energy and it is so much fun to watch. They may not have the stamina to sit in a chair like perfect angels for all the meetings (hello they are like 3!!), but they are listening and some of the comments they offer in the lessons are so humbling to me and make me want to be a better human being. I for one am glad to have Jackson in primary he sat next to me in class and was such a good example to the other kids telling them to "Shh and be reverent" it was adorable!!
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